I’m beginning to wonder if I’m right in my (usually steadfast) belief that the only reason these times seem so incredibly f*cked up is that through the ages — for every single generation — things have always seemed incredibly f*cked up, beyond anything that came before.

Now there’s poor Britney, reduced to airing out the beav for a cheap career push. Spears, whom I understand is rumored to have actually been able to sing and dance at some point, is quickly learning the key to modern “celebrity” from her new mentor: Who needs talent, when you’ve got nerve?