On this year’s Oscars, Jake Gyllenhaal intro’d a montage of Epic Movie Clips by reading a message about how powerfully magical The Movies really are, and how we simply could not experience this on a mere TV screen, much less a “portable player.” Clearly scripted, and clearly a desperate plea from the studios for us to please go back to the theaters. The ensuing montage was pretty impressive, I must say. It successfully reminded me just how magical The Movies can be.

But wait… How did the Academy, in all its wisdon, decide to give me this experiece? To prove to me that paying $10-15 for the privilege of watching a dozen TV COMMERCIALS (before the studio trailers even begin) is nothing, given the Magic they had edited together for me…?

That’s right. On my TV. They played the Powerful Montage, skillfully edited and scored to move and inspire, during a television broadcast. So we could all watch it on our televisions, and wonder what the f*ck the problem was that they were just talking about. Doh.